“What do you think Ginger?” Silence …then.. “Ginger thinks your tie is very nice.” Nothing much wrong on the surface, but this was Alice, a family friend in her 70s, discussing my new tie with her cat. Alice was not mad, nothing ‘medically’ wrong, just quirky and a cat lover. I would have been around…
Last words
By their very nature the last words people utter carry a very special significance. To those who are close, they can bring solace or can engender guilt and anxiety, but whichever, they are likely to linger indefinitely. They somehow encapsulate our memories of the dead person, even becoming a sort of personification. And there are…
The band played on
In a grand room in central London on the 24 May the cameras witnessed a moment of pure theatre. For a few minutes the most powerful people in Britain, plus possibly the most powerful person in the world, were rendered impotent. They were paralysed by pomp and protocol, and the fear of losing face. At…
Vanity fare
I was sitting in the underground reading a newspaper and minding my own business. It was rush hour with many passengers standing, leaving those seated in that strange, and somewhat childlike position of being in an underworld surrounded by anonymous legs, backpacks, handbags or perhaps an overgenerous coat. Identifying to whom they belonged was out…
Look back in Bognor
My tally for items lost in the last 12 months has just reached five. The outcomes have been varied - a mobile phone left on a bench was returned two weeks later after negotiating with an anonymous man and giving a ‘goodwill’ payment of £20. A cherished umbrella left hanging over a billboard in Oxford Street…
Life after teeth
They say "once a dentist, always a dentist" but then what? Phil Gould wonders what it takes to be a writer. What’s in a word? Well, some course their way through our conversations with hardly a ripple, worthy if anonymous, like “patina” and “winglet”. Others might invite a subliminal snigger, like “wriggle” or “heave”. Others still…
Magic carpet
Every other year we take a special holiday and this time it was to India. The star attraction was a 1,000 mile journey through Rajasthan travelling by rail at night in the "Palace on Wheels" and sightseeing by coach during the day. The sleeper carriages and restaurant cars had been renovated to recreate a velvety…
Short back and torture
I reckon I have had my hair cut every 6-8 weeks since I was four, which makes last week’s my 500th. The trouble is that I have disliked each and every one, finding them at best unpleasant and at worst, plain horrible. I have nothing against barbers, I just don’t like keeping still and I'm not…