The man who owns the open-all-hours newsagent just round the corner is, as tradition would have it, in the centre of the community. He knows and treats his customers very well. Indeed, he makes a point of greeting us all individually either by first name, by title (Doctor, Professor), or by nickname (in my case Mr. le…
Vive la difference
Travelling in the rush hour is rarely pleasant. Standing, tightly packed, in an underground train is bad enough, but add to that the unique landscape and it all gets much worse. I am talking about close up views of ears, nostrils, pimples, pates and partings, plus the accompanying wafts of halitosis and last night's alcohol.…
Life after teeth
Joe Collier relishes becoming a crusty old man again As I reached the top of the stairs I was overtaken by a man in a hurry mumbling, "Health and Safety..." We were both heading for the Gents and once inside, in fact standing shoulder-to-shoulder, his Health and Safety theme continued. We men generally stay quiet…
Unconventional wisdom
If it takes 2 men 2 hours to paint a gutter, how many phone calls will be missed in the process? Neil Taylor tries to find out. I’m down on my hands and knees, scrubbing hard at the brilliant white paint on the York stones outside the kitchen. The phone rings. I’m suddenly desperate to…
Potted Irish
Ask me to read an article quickly and then to recall the key elements and it would be beyond me. Spelling too is very testing, and taking in the facts presented in class or when revising (nowadays in French) takes me ages compared to the time others need. With the aid of tricks learned over…
The matter of Wobbly Maud
Let me admit it right at the start; the Road on which we live is not all that congenial. Stately, if you like, with big trees and some bigger houses; a Princess once resided halfway up the hill, and the Director of the National Bank lives up at the top. Every front drive sports at…
The unforgotten sound
Without prompting, one of the dinner guests tapped on his glass, asked for quiet and launched into a monologue. His chosen subject - the uniqueness of sounds. He talked about them in terms of their commercial value. He was, he declared, speaking as a marketing man. There was no way of checking his assertions, but…
Double vision
The train was almost empty when my journey started. A few stations later I looked up to find a woman sitting opposite. Though she looked familiar there was a problem. For years I have got into muddles when meeting people, so I needed to be careful. Here was a pretty, young redhead who I thought…